Obsessed With Tape

It's nice to see you again.  It's cool 'cause I got some disturbing chiz.  It's most likely to freak you out.  Now that you know that it's going to be disturbing, let's get started.

My mom thinks I should stop using tape, but I'm too obsessed with tape to even let it out of my grasp.  It's very annoying when she says, "Stop using the tape!"  I think it's hilarious.  My dad usually doesn't hear it.  He is too busy pooping.  His poops smell like a thousand sharts mixed tiny little cat litter poops and burps. 

(At this point, Kyle said, "I'm not listening!" and I was laughing until I cried.)

He usually has dreams about going on dates with Elton John.  It's hilarious.  I told a waiter at Los Toltecos.  

Charity

It is cool to see you again.  I have very important announcements.  There is people dying from hunger.  They need help.  Well, I already did something really good.  I had to pack 50,000 meals.  That is really good.  And I was really helping Ivory Coast.  They have kids dying every six seconds.  That is terrifying.  I really helped.  Count my dad in, too.  He helped awesomely. 

Our first job was measuring.  Our second job was sealing and our third job was doing the funnel.  There were different ways to put in the funnel.  First ingredient was chicken powder.  Then you put in soy, then vegetables, then rice, then pack it up and let your runner take it to a measurer.  They will take care of the job and then go to sealers and then put it in large boxes.  That is how you make 50,000 meals.  It pretty much took four hours.  That is not too long for a grown-up. 

The number was for measuring, 377 up to 382 grams or in the middle. 

The End.

Funniness Funny

Today I have some really funny jokes to tell you.  So, this is one.

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Pants on the ground.
Pants on the ground, who?
Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground.

(Mom interjection- yes, we know these jokes are horrible.)

Here is another one:

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Tray
Tray who?
This tray is wet, this tray is wet, and this tray is wet, this tray is wet.  With all of the power of the Death Star, is there not a tray that is dry?

(Mom interjection - my friends know why this joke exemplifies my horrible parenting skills.)

Sushi lunch

-- Post From My iPhone

Class Clown

If you know who I am and you know my name is Jack, then if you were at last night's dinner, then you should know that it was someone's birthday. And that guy is named Mike Ferris. He is turning 31. And I got to see someone named Wendy. She really likes jokes. Also, she really likes, "Do you know who I am?" (<-- that is a reference to a video that Jack likes.)

And I did other things for jokes. And you maybe have a good response to this. Maybe try responding more funny messages. And here's a pretty funny one:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owls.
Owls who?
That's right!

This is me and Wendy and my mom took this picture. Doesn't it look pretty?

If you think it's nice then come back to give a response.  (I think he means comment.)  If you already know how to get to my website, then just do so and you'll find all of my links.

My Journal Entry (June 2010)

Today Day

I am
with
my
mom
in
teh
car
go
two
Coinstar.
My
dad
mean.
While
we
were
my
eyes
could
actually
I saw
dad
was
getting
up
out of
he
seat
while
his
anger.
He
got up
out
of
he
seat
and
slammed
he
walk
with
out
us
so
we
just
sat
with
each.

(This is an actual entry from Jack's journal that he wrote after an ill-fated trip to Coinstar. Kyle was irritated that we were being slow, so he went into the grocery store alone.)

Too much fun?

If you have something that is funny to you tell your mom that you need to not get too riled up. Then you wouldn't be in the mood to do some fun workbooks. And there might be some of your favorite games like tic-tac-toe or there might be some connect-the-dots. Maybe there might be some other fun games that you might like other things.

You should try making your dad read some of your messed up journals that have things that are mean to your daddy. And try to make him read those funny things if your mom's read them and you have laughed. You will laugh even harder. It makes me crack up. It is really funny to me.

Dinner Idea

If you have your daughter or son and if they are in kindergarten and if they are really good at helping out then you should see if they are good at helping you make dinner.

Start with trying something simple like making a little salad. You should put like carrots like all around until half of one side of the plate is covered with carrots and then take some celery and put it on top and then you should see if you could help her put on some seasoning. I think you and your family would really like this lunch or dinner. You'll think it's tasty.

School Supplies

If I was your very own kid, I would say for supplies for kindergarten you would need a pencil box, scissors, pencils, crayons, glue sticks, a Bible workbook, and some instructions to do all those good cool things in your Bible workbook.

You should have lots of books so you can practice reading. Start with trying a level 2 book. If they don't do a very good job then try the level 1 book. See how they do on that book. If they are pretty good, then you should keep reading level 1 until they have mastered level 1. Then go back to the same book at level 2. Then if they do a really good job keep doing that book until they have mastered it just like they did at level 1.

My First Blog Post

If you have a daughter or a son and if they are getting ready for kindergarten come to this blog. It's called Getting Ready For Kindergarten. Come by to look at the blog. You'll be most impressed.